Reassurances
by wdreamynightmare
Summary: After the Luthor Mess, Kon's put himself under house arrest in Smallville. Tim's worried and seeks him out, hoping to ease Kon's mind and help him find a little peace. They both get far more out of Tim's visit than either of them bargained for. Tim/Kon
1. Chapter 1

**Reassurances**

A Prequel to "The Eye of Anubis"

By Nightmare and Winged Dreamer

Author's Notes: This takes place soon after Raven visits Kon-El at the Kent Farm to show him his soul, after Luthor triggered the programming in Kon's mind. We are ignoring everything after that point, and we do mean everything. Why? Because Infinite Crisis sucked.

**Chapter One**

Blinking to clear the dust kicked up by the bus out of his eyes, Tim Drake adjusted the strap of his duffle more comfortably on his shoulder and took a deep breath to gather his resolve. No one else had gotten off at this stop and, from what he could see, it would be quite a walk to the nearest town. Well, it was too late to turn back now – there wouldn't be another bus for a few days. Shifting his bag again, Tim started walking.

Luckily, someone drove by a few minutes later in a pickup and, after a quick discussion, was offered a ride to his destination, which Tim graciously accepted, especially since it turned out to be in the opposite direction than that in which he'd originally been heading. He tossed his duffle into the truck's bed and climbed up after it.

'I wonder what he's doing right now,' thought Tim as he watched the fields of corn and wheat and pasture flow by, holding his hair out of his face with one hand and shading his eyes from the late morning sun with the other. 'It's been… what, a month now since he left? Yeah, a month. And never once has he contacted us, saying whether he's okay or wants to come back or even if he misses us half as much as we miss him. Surely it's not that he's too busy… I hope he hasn't worked himself into too deep of a depression.'

"Hey kid, we're here."

Snapping out of his daydream, Tim grabbed his duffle and hopped off the truck bed. "Thank you very much."

The driver nodded through the truck's back window. "No problem. Tell Jonathan and Martha that Sam says hi."

"I will." Tim waved as the truck drove away and turned to get a good look at his reached destination.

"Kent Farm," read the sign hanging above the driveway to a large farm surrounded by a meticulously kept fence. A small, cozy looking house sat at the end of the driveway, almost beckoning Tim to come forward. Hearing cows lowing in the distance, he answered the house's call. On the porch, he took one more deep breath and knocked, hoping the Kents – especially Conner – were home.

"Coming!" came the answer from deep within the old yellow farmhouse. Several moments later, a shadow appeared in the dimmer interior of the house and at last a kind, elderly woman came to the door. She showed a little hesitance that was probably born of surprise as she pushed the light wood-framed screen door open and stepped onto the porch. "Uhm, may I help you?"

Tim nodded in greeting and smiled his best, hiding his anxiety. "Hi, Mrs. Kent. My name's Tim Drake. Is Conner around?"

"Tim?" Martha thought for a moment, then smiled. It was a sweet, almost loving smile, and she turned around to pull the door open. "He's out in the barn with Jonathan right now, getting things ready for the fall harvests. They should be in shortly since it'll be lunch time soon."

Martha Kent couldn't hide the small smile that kept her mouth turned up at the corners. _Finally_ someone other than Clark was _showing_ Conner that they still cared. Conner had mentioned a Tim and Tim had called the farm on a few random occasions, but this was the first time that Martha had ever actually met the boy. He had the look of someone who cared a great deal about his teammates and friends, which made Martha's smile just a little wider. Maybe Tim could rid Conner of his underlying depression. Stopping at the kitchen counter where she had been preparing sandwiches, Martha gestured to the back door.

"It's right through there. The biggest of the outbuildings. If you could please tell Jonathan that he needs to come in and take his pills, I'd appreciate it."

Nodding, Tim pulled his summer jacket off and stuffed it into his duffle. Now that it was almost noon, all of the morning's chill had been burned off and it was comfortably warm. "Sure thing. Mind if I set my stuff by the front door?" He already felt comfortable around Martha Kent and felt a little of his apprehension dissipate. However, until he was sure Kon was going to talk to him, Tim was going to continue being nervous.

"Not at all. Actually, since you're going to be here for at least a little while, you can take it up to Conner's room." Busily preparing sandwiches, Mrs. Kent pulled out another two slices of bread and asked, "What do you like on your sandwiches, dear?"

"Ham and Swiss, if you have it, with all the trimmings, please." Tim set his stuff by the front door for now and headed out to the barn Martha had pointed out. It wasn't hard to find Kon and Jonathan – the young meta was pitching hay down from a loft while an elderly man, weathered by age and a life of hard work, greased tractor parts. Not wanting to startle Jonathan, Tim knocked on the door frame before walking into the barn. He knew Kon had probably heard him the second he'd pulled up in front of the house.

"Excuse me, Mr. Kent? Mrs. Kent asked me to tell you it's time to take your pills."

"She did, did she?" Jonathan rose slowly from where he'd been kneeling to grease one of the front wheels, set his grease gun on the tractor hood and wiped his hands on a shop rag. Satisfied with their cleanliness, Jonathan offered the young man a hand. "Jonathan Kent. I don't believe we've met."

The Teen Wonder grasped his hand in a firm grip, pleased to find Jonathan's return grip equally firm. From what he could tell so far, Martha was the heart and Jonathan was the backbone of this small family. "Tim Drake. It's a pleasure."

"Pleasure's mine, Tim. I'll leave you two boys out here. Come in when you're hungry." With a nod to Tim, he turned and called into the loft, "Conner! You've got company."

In the shadows of the stacks of square hay bales, Conner Kent slowly unfolded his arms and steeled himself. Every time he even thought about Tim or Cassie or any of the other Titans, all he could see was how he'd hurt them. How he'd wrenched Tim's arm backwards and crushed his forearm. How he'd pulverized Cassie without a second thought. How he'd nearly fried Gar and Raven. Shaking his head, he pushed off the hay very carefully and belatedly answered Pa Kent. "Be right down, Uncle Jon!"

Flashing one last smile at Tim, Jonathan left to the sound of boots on the stairs.

Once at the bottom of the staircase, Conner looked off to the side and nervously rubbed at the back of his neck. "Tim. What are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you're doing. You haven't called in so long we were all getting pretty worried. How've you been, Kon?" There was a deep, honest concern in Tim's voice, born of their long friendship. Intense blue eyes carefully examined Kon's face, searching for clues to his emotional health. Already Tim could tell that Kon was deeply depressed and probably severely introverted, neither of which would help him get over the still too-recent mess with Luthor and the Brainiacs. All of the Titans had yet to fully recover, but at least they had each other for support. Kon had taken himself away from that, leaving them all worried about how he was coping with what he'd done under Luthor's control.

Kon? Turning his eyes to the ground, the first successful clone of Superman sighed. Conner Kent, Kon-El, Superboy… he didn't deserve _any_ of those names. Slowly, he lowered himself to the second to last step and leaned on his knees. "I don't know," he mumbled and glanced up at Tim through his slightly longer bangs. He'd have to cut them back soon, but he just couldn't bring himself to go with the near buzz-cut again. It reminded him too much of a bald scalp. "How do you think I am?"

Shrugging, Tim tucked his hands into his jean pockets and shifted to rest his weight on one leg, making himself appear relaxed in hopes that it would relax Kon. "Frankly? You look like shit and I bet you don't feel much better. … Then again, none of us are doing so great," he added in a soft voice, thinking of their friends at the Tower.

"Yeah. You guys wouldn't be." Heaving himself to his feet, he turned and started up the stairs. "There's a couch up here."

"Okay." Tim followed him up the stairs to a corner of the loft that had been made into a comfortable sitting area, relieved that Kon hadn't yet pushed him away or closed up. Right now, any good sign was greatly appreciated.

The taller boy fell back onto the dusty couch with a whump and let his knees fall open wide as he slumped back into the battered and ugly old furniture. Out of the corner of his eye, Conner watched Tim step off the top stair and toward the couch. The half-Kryptonian was unable to resist the way every muscle began to wind tight with tension the nearer Tim got. What if he snapped again? How could Tim want to be anywhere near him? Sure Tim was a Bat, but how could he not be afraid of what Conner could do to him?

"Kon?" Noticing just how tense Kon was getting, Tim stopped a few paces away from the couch, his expression both calm and concerned. It wasn't like the meta to be wary of proximity to another. Then again, he'd never gone completely AWOL, either. "If you'd rather I keep my distance, I will. All you have to do is say so."

If Superboy could blush… Kon completely looked away again and shook his head. "It's fine. If you're… If you want to sit down, go ahead."

"Are you sure?"

He barely glanced Tim's way. "…Yeah."

"Alright." Tim pulled his hands out of his pockets and walked over, sitting down on the other end of the couch from Kon, understanding his friend's need for space. He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. "Honestly, Kon… How've you been?"

"I'm alright, I guess." It felt like even more of a lie than it sounded, and Kon turned his face toward the floor of the loft between his feet, tearing his gaze from the bright blue Kansas sky visible through the open loft doors. But how could he tell Tim about the nightmares and the disgusting feeling of _Luthor_ all over him? Or about the weight of his guilt and the ache in his chest for the pain he'd caused the people he cared about the _most_?

The young human sighed and ran a hand over his face. "If you don't want to tell me the whole truth, Kon, that's fine, but please, don't lie to me. I came here because I want to help you, and I can't do that if you shut me out."

There was a long silence before Kon asked, "What do you want me to say then, Tim? There's no way a smart guy like you doesn't have any idea about what this has to be like. You might not have experienced this, but I'm sure that brain of yours can reason it out."

No malice. No anger. Just… defeat. That was the best way to describe his tone. His voice was near to husky, almost thick and definitely not like it had ever been in the past. This went beyond the sulking Kid that Robin had first come to know. This was a truly depressed and brooding Kon-El.

A comforting hand grasped Kon's forearm and Tim squeezed. "What happened was _not_ your fault, Kon. Everything was completely out of your control. No one blames you for anything that happened. Not me, not Cassie or Bart, or anyone else. And honestly, I was proud of you when you snapped out of Luthor's programming and beat him up. That took a lot of willpower."

"I saw… _everything_, Tim. I was still in there, but I couldn't do anything. I couldn't _stop_. I think the electricity from Cassie's lasso helped short out whatever Luthor had programmed into my brain enough for me to fight back. I just… I can't get those images out of my head."

Burying his face in his hands, Kon bent forward and rested his elbows on his knees. This was… it hurt just thinking about it. It scared him, remembering how helpless he'd been. The hand on his arm didn't leave and part of him wanted it to stay, but the other part just wanted to run screaming for fear of breaking Tim again.

That hand moved up his arm, around his shoulders to the other, and pulled him against Tim's side. "We all have nightmares, Kon, about things we've done that we regret or horrible situations in which we wish we'd had control but didn't. It comes with our work," Tim murmured into Kon's dark hair. "No one will fault you if you want to quit being a superhero after this, but we also don't want you to let one horrific experience rule you. Whatever happened, it wasn't _you_, even if you were still in there watching. The important thing is you recognized what was going on and you beat it."

Kon stiffened for a moment, body tightening up until his shoulders were like a steel girder beneath Tim's arm. But when nothing exploded and the world didn't shatter around him, Kon gradually relaxed. Leaning some of his weight against Tim's side, he tiredly dropped his hands between his thighs, forearms resting on their tops.

"You know Raven visited me a little while ago, right?" Kon asked into the stretching silence.

"Yeah, she told us she'd come out here. She didn't tell us anything that you'd talked about, though."

"Remember, just before all of that happened? How I told you that I'd asked Raven if I had a soul, and that she'd gotten _flustered_?"

Tim nodded, curious as to where this was going. "Yeah…"

"You were so certain that I had one. _I_ was certain that clones couldn't, so I thought for sure you were wrong. But then Raven pulled me into her Soul Self while she was here… and showed me some things. Luthor wanted to name me Lionel, but you know I got loose before I was complete. She showed me the Batcave. Batman and Superman were arguing over what to do with me. I saw my future self again. I told myself that I'd be proud to be a Luthor someday. And then she made me _watch_ that day at the Tower over again. Everyone was so still, lying all over the place. Then everything went black, and there was this little glowing ball of… something. Raven told me that it was my soul. That she hadn't been able to see it before. That she hadn't been able to see it until I broke free of Luthor's control. I guess… I guess I want to believe her, but I'm not sure. I mean. Clones _aren't_ supposed to have souls. We weren't made by natural means. How can we?"

Through the entire quiet tale, Kon hadn't moved from beneath Tim's arm. The comfort of someone he'd known almost his whole life was like a soothing balm on his chaotic psyche. Tim was there, fine, unharmed and unafraid of him. That had to mean something.

"Just because you're a clone doesn't mean you don't or can't have a soul. I believe what Raven showed you really was your soul. Maybe she couldn't see it before because Luthor's programming was hiding it, but that doesn't mean it wasn't always there. Kon, you _feel_ just as deeply as I or any other person does. You've known fear, hope, love and grief, things I believe you couldn't have experienced without a soul. You're _just_ as much of a person as I am, and you always have been."

Tim tightened his embrace and ducked his head, trying to look Kon in the face. "Actually, when you think about it, you're not really a clone at all."

That got his attention, and Kon lifted his head to look Tim straight in the eye. If he wasn't a clone then he no longer had an excuse for his actions, did he? He was just a bad person that had succumbed to the darker side of himself, right? Real people couldn't be _programmed_, could they? "What do you mean, I'm not really a clone?"

"By definition, a clone is made from the DNA of only one being," explained Tim. "You were made from the DNA of two people. You're fifty percent Superman and fifty percent Luthor, just as everyone else is fifty percent of each of their parents. I think the reason everyone insists on calling you a clone is because that's what they were trying to create when they made you."

Kon heaved himself to his feet and took a few steps forward, pulling out of Tim's embrace to get rid of some of the anxiety building inside him. Rubbing at the back of his neck as he stared blankly at the stacked hay to the one side of the loft, Kon sighed a little shakily. "So, if I'm _not_ a clone and not quite a real person, then what the hell am I? I was made to _kill_ people, Tim. I… almost did. _Jesus_, this is so fucking complicated."

Turning, the meta fixed Tim with a gaze that was more angry than anything else. "Let's go eat. Pa Kent and I will take care of the rest of the chores, and we can talk about this later tonight before bed."

Cursing himself for making the situation worse when he'd been trying to make it better, Tim stood up and grabbed his friend's arm. "Kon, wait. I never meant that you're not a real person, because you are. All I meant is that you're not a clone."

"If I'm not a clone then what am I?" Kon stared down into Tim's face, thankful that the Teen Wonder wasn't hiding behind his mask. Kon didn't want to think of what his temper would have been like if Tim's eyes were hidden behind those lenses.

"You're Superboy, Kon-El, a fellow Titan… and my _friend_. You're as human as I am, as any of the other Titans." Tim's dark blue eyes shone with a naked, heartfelt honesty.

"According to the Batman, I'm a robot." Despite the words, Kon's eyes showed something that looked a little more like he was finally _listening_ to Tim, and not just letting the other boy's words go in one ear and out the other. "A weapon grown in a test tube and a _danger_ to the Titans."

Tim rolled his eyes, annoyed. "Batman needs to take the stick out of his ass and start trusting people. To him, anyone that's not a hundred percent _Homo sapiens_ is a robot, monster, menace, or brainless animal. I think the only one he considers above those categories is J'onn, and that's only because J'onn has proven himself trustworthy countless times over."

Sighing, Kon looked away again. For several long moments, he stared at the floor and then shook his head, meeting Tim's gaze once more. "Alright, so _his_ opinion doesn't matter, but how many other people think of me like that now?"

"Out of the people that matter? Not a single one." Offering a gentle smile, Tim squeezed Kon's arm and let his hand drop. "C'mon, let's go get lunch. It's been hours since I had breakfast and I'm starving."

"Yeah," Kon murmured and led the way down the stairs to the barn floor. "Maybe after chores are done, I'll show you around, and then we can take a trip to town and stop at the Talon. It's a great coffee place that shows movies on the weekend. How long are you planning on staying?"

"As long as you want me around, and not so long that I overstay my welcome. What kind of movies?" Tim followed him down the stairs, falling in step beside him once they were both on the ground floor.

"In Kansas, there's no such thing as overstaying your welcome, Tim, especially not with the Kents. And so far I've seen the sign advertising everything from Godzilla movies to Gone with the Wind and everything in between. Mostly older stuff. I don't think Lana can afford to pay for the latest releases." Together they left the barn and headed towards the back porch.

"Godzilla movies are good, especially if you watch them in the original Japanese with subtitles. Do you know what they're playing this weekend?"

"Not a clue. I, uh, haven't exactly been feeling very social lately." Pushing open the screen door, Kon motioned Tim past him.

"Sandwiches are the counter boys," Martha called from the laundry room. The sound of the washing machine starting up followed.

"Thanks, Mrs. Kent," Tim called back, heading straight for the plate with only one sandwich. It didn't take a genius to figure out the plate with three was Kon's. "Hey, do you know what movies the Talon is playing this weekend? Conner doesn't know."

"Last time I saw, the sign said, 'James Bond starring Sean Connery,'" offered Jonathan as he came down the stairs, heading for the back door to pull his work boots on. "I'm going to go finish with the tractor. You boys can come out and help finish chores when you're done if you want."

"We will, Uncle Jon," Kon assured him and headed for the fridge. Pulling it open, he looked over his shoulder at Tim and asked, "Pop, milk or fresh squeezed lemonade?"

"Lemonade sounds great." Taking his lunch over to the table, Tim sat down and dug in, Alfred's training being the only thing that kept him from putting his elbows up on the table. At the Tower no one cared, but here it was better to be safe than sorry, especially since he didn't know how strict the Kents were on etiquette yet.

Kon snagged them both glasses of lemonade, laid the sugar bowl in the center of the table and went back to get his plate of sandwiches. Once he'd settled at the table, he too dug into his lunch. In almost no time he'd devoured it and was getting up to get more lemonade. "Want a cookie? Aunt Martha made them."

"If they're as good as her sandwiches, definitely." 'To hell with etiquette,' thought Tim, licking his fingers clean of mayo and butter.

With a chuckle, Superboy brought the whole plate over, offering Tim a variety one could only find in the Kent household. "Her traditional chocolate chip cookies are to die for. Get a couple now before I-"

"You will _not_ eat all of those cookies, Conner Kent. Metahuman metabolism or not."

Kon let out a soft sigh, casting an almost glower in Martha's direction. "Yes, Aunt Martha," he mumbled and grabbed only four cookies.

Chuckling, Tim grabbed a chocolate chip and an oatmeal raisin with walnuts. "Get her to divulge her recipes and I know someone who can make huge batches if we agree to help him," he mischievously whispered. Smirking, he took a bite out of the chocolate chip and his eyes got huge. "Whoa… These _are_ good!"

"Aunt Martha's known all over Smallville for her baking. You should try her pies," Kon stated and finished off his last cookie. "As soon as your food settles we should head out to help Uncle Jonathan."

"Sure thing. What needs to be done?" The shorter teen ate his cookies slowly, making them last as long as he could.

"I have to finish moving the hay around, but that'll be easy since I've got almost all of it stacked. He'll probably have you help him while I finish that, and then we'll mend fences until feeding time."

The young part-alien leaned back in his chair and just stared at Tim from across the table for a few minutes. It was strange to realize how much he'd really missed Tim's presence; strange and yet comforting now that Tim was there with him. Oddly enough, Tim – despite being born and bred city – seemed to fit in the Kents' kitchen almost as well as Kon did himself. "So… how is everyone?"

Tim sighed and set down what was left of his oatmeal cookie, folding his arms on the table. "Everyone misses you, Kon, and we're all worried about you, especially since you haven't talked to anyone in so long. Bart's lost a lot of his spunk, Cassie barely says a word, Gar's quieter than I think he's ever been, Mia's taken to practicing until she's exhausted, and Raven's depressed because everyone else is. Outwardly, Vic's okay, but he's spending a little too much time in his lab."

Tim didn't exaggerate. He was very precise, being a product of Bat-training. Kon sighed into the short silence. "I can't go back there, Tim. I'm not ready. I don't think I… I can't even think about looking at Cassie without seeing her pinned to that damn tree with my arm cutting off her air."

With a nod of complete understanding, Tim murmured, "I'm not asking for you to come back, Kon. I'm asking that you keep in touch with us, even if it's a phone call just once a week. Everyone wants to know that you're alright, that's all."

"What do I say to people I tried to kill?"

"You weren't yourself, and we all know that. No one blames you for what happened."

Kon looked down at the table top and reached forward to drum his fingers on it. Then he sat forward and leaned on the smooth surface. "You guys don't have to. I blame myself. I shouldn't even exist and if I didn't, it wouldn't have happened. _That's_ what it all really comes down to."

"Does it?" Tim's stare was hard with growing frustration and anger at Kon's unshakable self-loathing. "If you didn't exist, Greta would still be a captive of APES, we wouldn't have had the invaluable advantage of your TTK back when we were Young Justice, we probably never would have made it home from that trip to Bart's time to help the Legion fight the Fatal Five Hundred… Let me go on down the list; it'll only take me a couple hours. You are an irreplaceable member of the Titans, Kon, and a dear friend to all of us. Don't let yourself believe any different." Slamming the screen door on his way out to the porch, Tim held back on the urge to scream, instead dropping down on a step and burying his face in his hands.

For many minutes, Kon just sat there and stared at the back of Tim's vacated chair. He had been the hero of the day quite a few times in his life, both in Young Justice and as a Titan. Even powerless, he'd remained with the team, doing whatever he could to help. Raven had told him he'd _made_ himself a soul. Created something that no machine or scientist could give him. Wasn't that kind of the deciding factor? Even if he wasn't supposed to be made, he might have been meant to be created. Standing slowly, he grabbed the remains of Tim's cookie and quietly stepped out onto the porch. The stairs creaked beneath his weight as he settled beside Tim on the stairs and looked at the cookie.

"You didn't finish your cookie."

Wordlessly, Tim held out his hand for it without looking up. If he opened his mouth right then, he _would_ scream.

The cookie went into his hand immediately, but Kon caught Tim's wrist before he could pull away. "Tim, look at me, please."

One stormy blue eye opened and turned in Kon's direction, questioning.

"Can we just… leave it alone for now?" Kon inquired, then looked over at the barn when he heard the clang of a dropped tool. Tuning his ears in on Jonathan's body rhythms, Kon found nothing amiss and instantly turned his attention back on Tim. "Can we just hang out and have a good time for a while, and _then_ talk about this again?"

Sighing, the Teen Wonder dropped his other hand and stared down at the half-eaten treat. "Yeah, I guess." At least Kon wasn't pushing him away for his outburst. Some progress was better than none.

Kon watched him quietly for a minute and then stood. "We'd better get out to the barn. Hurry up and finish that."

No longer in the mood to savor, Tim demolished the rest of the cookie and stood, brushing crumbs from his clothes. "Let's go."

----------

Kon-El stepped back and brushed his hands together, dusting away the hay chaff that clung to his hands and forearms from moving the seven thousand or more bales into their places in the loft and empty corners of the barn. It felt good to work his tactile telekinesis again, like working a muscle he hadn't used in a long time. Well, it was actually telekinesis now, but the "muscles" he used were the same. Surveying his completed task, Superboy smirked a little and flicked a lock of hair off his forehead. 'Bet Clark never got them _all_ this even and packed just tight enough.'

Feeling a little smug, he turned from the hay and launched himself over the railing, vaulting to the ground and landing lightly so as not to disturb anything hanging on the walls of the old but well kept building.

"You two done greasing that tractor yet?" he inquired of Pa Kent and Tim.

"Just about," Jonathan stated from underneath the tractor, holding out the grease gun for Tim to refill. "Are you done with the hay already?" There was a note of suspicion in his tone. "You'd better not have used superspeed."

"Yes, I'm done, and no, I didn't," Kon answered and handed Tim the refill that he'd been looking for. Tim looked kind of… like a three-year-old toddler with all that grease smeared on his hands and face. "That's a nice look for you, Tim," he gently taunted, smirking.

"Shut up." Despite his growl, Tim smirked back and took the used cartridge out of the gun, pushing the refill in. He was actually having fun helping Jonathan, even if it did mean suffering Alfred's wrath later for getting his clothes so filthy. It was getting harder to keep the grease only on his skin.

Jonathan's hand disappeared under the tractor once Tim had put the gun in it. "You put _all_ of the hay away?"

"Every last bale," Kon stated almost triumphantly and settled one buttcheek on the work bench behind him while folding his arms.

"All seven thousand in the time it takes to grease three quarters of the tractor."

"Yep."

"Then you used superspeed. Go clean up the mess you made and do it right."

"Okay, fine. I did use superspeed to toss the bales into a stack, but I swear it doesn't need to be restacked. Go take a look for yourself, Uncle Jon."

"Hmph." Jonathan emerged from under the tractor and climbed to his feet with a grunt. Giving Kon a skeptical look, he headed for the hay loft. "Trust me, son, if you used superspeed then it needs to be restacked. If I told Clark once, I told him a thousand times, don't use superspeed when stacking hay because it always makes a mess."

The boys followed him up the stairs, neither of them listening to him. "Seven thousand bales of hay? Isn't that a little excessive?" whispered Tim to Kon, not understanding why so much was needed. Sure, the Kents had plenty of livestock, but surely that much hay was too much.

"It's better to have too much than not enough. We've got a few goats, some sheep and the cows. They've all got to eat and in the winter, they need to eat a lot," Kon explained as they followed Jonathan up the stairs.

"Told you," he added, when they came into view of the neatly stacked tower of hay.

Surprised, Jonathan stared for a moment, then crossed his arms and turned around to face Kon. "Alright, you win. How'd you do it?" There was a proud glint in his eyes. Not even Clark had been able to stack the hay so tightly and neatly.

"Uhm, an old friend. Well, sort of," Kon told him and extended his hand out to the railing of the loft, allowing it to hover over a bridle headstall that hung there over a colorful Navajo patterned blanket without a bit or reins and extended his mind for it. It rose in the air as though jumping into his hand. "My TTK isn't quite so tactile anymore."

"No wa- How long ago did this start?" Unable to help himself, Tim grinned in excitement. He'd known Kon was going to eventually develop telekinesis for a long time now and had seen him use it while under Luthor's influence, but it was still a wonderful surprise to see Kon able to consciously use his new power.

Jonathan was lost. "TTK? What's that?"

"Tactile telekinesis," explained Tim. "It's a power Conner has had pretty much forever. Apparently he's upgraded."

"Whatever happened to my brain while under Luthor's influence must have shaken it loose or forced it to 'upgrade,'" Kon answered with a small shrug and set the headstall back where he'd found it.

Bemused, Jonathan could only shake his head and chuckle. "I think we'd better not tell Clark about this. I don't know how well he'd take to being one-upped by a kid." Still chuckling, he patted Kon's arm and went back downstairs to finish greasing the tractor. "Telekinesis… huh…"

Once Jonathan was out of earshot, Tim let out an evil grin. "Okay, now I'm really tempted to tell Bart, because I know he'll tell Wally, and Wally'll tell Clark that you can stack hay better than he can."

"Go ahead," Kon shrugged one shoulder with a slightly mischievous grin of his own. "It just proves that he still _can_ be 'one-upped.'"

"Maybe next time he comes by you should challenge him."

"Heh, yeah right. Pa Kent would kill us. Do you have any idea how many bales we'd break?" Kon shook his head and straightened. "Let's go get the fences done."

"Don't worry about the fences, Conner," Martha stated from the top of the stairs. "How about you and Tim go celebrate your 'upgrade?' Here." Walking forward, she caught Kon's hand and shoved a fifty dollar bill in it, then folded the boy's large fingers around it. "Just be back at a decent time."

Surprised, Kon glanced over at Tim. "What do you say?"

"Will do, Mrs. Kent. So… where's the soap?"

**On to Chapter Two…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Reassurances**

A Prequel to "The Eye of Anubis"

By Nightmare and Winged Dreamer

**Chapter Two**

The night air was cool for summer, a nice respite from the day's humidity. Kon pushed the back exit door to the Talon's small theater open and let Tim precede him through into the alley. Most of the other people from the audience filtered out through the doors leading back through the building to the sidewalk and street, but Kon wanted out of the crowd. That had been the largest group of people that he'd dealt with since before the Luthor mess. After all, he'd placed himself under house arrest before anyone could even suggest it, but since Tim was there to play guardian, Kon had let himself off the hook for the night at least. Jon and Martha Kent seemed to approve, and since they were good and sensible people, Kon figured it wasn't exactly the wrong thing to do.

"It wasn't the best movie, but it was alright," Kon stated and leaned against the brick wall of the building they'd just left. He listened carefully to the town around him, paying close attention to the human noises nearest to them. He wanted to make sure the coast was clear before suggesting ways of getting home that didn't involve walking back.

"It was fun, and that's the important thing. I forgot just how cheesy old secret agent movies are." Smirking, Tim tucked his hands in his pockets and leaned back against the wall next to Kon. "So what do you wanna do now? Show me around some more or head back?" They'd already seen all Tim guessed there was to see – Smallville certainly lived up to its name – and he had a feeling he knew the answer.

Kon considered the question for a second and did one last sensory sweep of the alley and the surrounding areas. Finding the coast as clear as he could hope for, he carefully pushed off the wall and turned to Tim. "Let's head back. We've got one more thing to do."

"Yeah? What's that?" Tim glanced at the alley's mouth to make sure people weren't walking by.

"It's fine," Kon assured him and extended a hand. He figured Tim's arm still wasn't up to holding his weight and flying that distance with only one hand wasn't going to be any easier, but Kon had another solution. "Give me your left hand."

"Okay…" Now very curious as to what Kon had in mind, Tim held out his left hand and raised a brow.

Reaching out, Kon grasped Tim's wrist and nodded when Tim almost simultaneously caught his in return.

"I'd tell you to hold on, but I don't think you'll have to worry about it." Kon rose a little from the alley's pavement. Power rippled over Tim's skin milliseconds before he too rose from the ground. Smirking, Kon flew straight up with Tim in tow, rising high enough that no one below would notice them as they leveled off and moved lazily toward the farm. "Better than really being carried or hanging like a monkey, isn't it?"

Reflexively, Tim tightened his grip on Kon's wrist, afraid for a split second of suddenly falling. Never before had he flown alongside someone outside of an aircraft, and the initial sensation of it flipped his stomach. His rationality kicked in a second later and Tim relaxed his grip, confident that Kon could control his TTK enough to keep him airborne. Now his fear became a rush of excitement similar to the one he always got when defying death as Robin, swinging from building to building on strong wires.

Grinning at Kon, he nodded and took in their surroundings. "Definitely."

Below them stretched a patchwork of blacks and grays dotted with the occasional light from a car or farm. Any light cast by the small town behind them was quickly fading, and soon the only light to see by was moonlight.

Above, the blue-black sky was littered with stars of every size, brightness, and color. The Milky Way was a river of light, winding its way across the sky all the way to the horizon. Making her climb to the top of her journey, the moon shone like a giant pearl in the sky to hide any nearby stars in her light, every crater and sea clearly visible. Tim was awestruck. Sure, he'd been to the Watchtower before so a sky-scape like this was nothing new, but up in a space station, the Earth tended to draw attention away from the stars and moon. Down here, there was nothing to distract from a night sky he never could have seen in Gotham or San Francisco. "Wow… I need to come out here more often."

"Yeah, it's really something isn't it?" Kon smirked, his eyes searching the late night sky. It wasn't anything new to him, living out on the farm like he did, but Tim's wonder at the scene sort of gave him a new respect for its beauty. A little nervous all of a sudden, Kon looked over at Tim out of the corner of his eye. "Tim? I want to say, thanks. For coming out here and everything. It… means a lot."

Tim smiled and shifted his gaze to his friend's face, giving Kon's wrist a squeeze of promise. "We're family, Kon. Looking out for each other is what family does. No matter what happens."

Kon looked him in the face for one serious moment, then flashed him a grin that was more than mischievous. "Ever experienced free-fall without a chute?" Of course Tim had, but it was more of a playful question than a serious one.

"If you drop me on purpose, I swear I'm gonna kill you," Tim deadpanned, a gleam in his eye betraying his mirth. "In case you haven't noticed, I don't have my utility belt and there are no tall buildings for me to use."

"You don't need either." Slowing, Superboy pulled up and grabbed Tim's other hand which gave him the opportunity to adjust his grip on Tim's left hand. They started lifting higher and Kon tipped his head to the side. "You've got me, and trust me, that's better than most rides at a theme park." Kon winked at him, then let gravity have both of them. The earth's pull grabbed them with a soft yank that sent at least Kon's stomach up against his diaphragm as they started to plummet feet first.

This was definitely better than any old roller coaster. Tim felt the bottom drop out of his stomach, and he was tempted to let go of Kon and let gravity take him completely to experience true free fall, knowing that Kon would catch him before he turned into a road pizza. Before he could succumb to the impulse, Kon reactivated his TTK and flew them back up to where they'd started. "Talk about a rush," laughed Tim, breathless from exhilaration.

Chuckling and a little breathless from laughter, Kon nodded. "I love doing that, but we should head home before it gets too late. Aunt Martha will kill us if we're out too much longer."

"And we wouldn't want that to happen. Let's go, before someone spots us up here and thinks we're a UFO." Tim was joking; he knew that at their height, anyone who saw them would probably think they were a cloud or bird.

Switching his grip on Tim's hand again, Kon clasped fingers with the Teen Wonder, figuring that it might be more comfortable even if it was a little more intimate. They'd been friends for too long for physical contact to embarrass them when it was just them anyway.

They finally landed at the Kent farm, just behind the house and practically at the bottom step of the porch. Kon let Tim steady his legs, then released his hand and gestured at the stairs, signaling Tim to just go on in. Once inside the kitchen, Kon murmured, "The couch isn't very comfortable, but it's yours if you want your own sleeping space. Otherwise, my bed's a queen."

"The couch's fine. I'm intruding too much already as it is, dropping in on you guys unannounced." Pulling his shoes off, Tim headed for the front door to get his bag, only to find it gone. "Hey, where'd my duffle go?"

"Probably my room," Kon answered as he dropped his boots by the back door and started for the stairs. "C'mon."

His bag _was_ in Kon's room, except there was one problem – it was empty. With a little searching, the boys found that all of Tim's things had been neatly tucked into a drawer of Kon's dresser. "I think Mrs. Kent is trying to give me a hint," remarked Tim with an amused smirk.

"I knew she'd do this." Kon shook his head and shrugged one shoulder before pulling off his glasses and T-shirt. He'd forgone the flannel over-shirt today because of the temperature. The T-shirt ended up on the rim of the hamper followed by his socks, and his glasses were set by his alarm clock on the nightstand at the head of the large queen-sized bed.

"You sure you want the couch?" he asked again and dropped his jeans, grabbing his sleeping pants from under his pillow where Martha always tucked them. The jeans went the way of the shirt and socks.

"You're going to keep asking until I take the bed, aren't you." Grabbing the back of his shirt, Tim pulled it off over his head and folded it, tucking it into his duffle to keep it away from his clean clothes. His jeans followed, revealing black boxers, and he grabbed a tank from the drawer for sleeping in.

"Yeah, pretty much. I've tried falling asleep on that couch before, and not only is it too short and too narrow for me, it's lumpy and the cushions are kind of flat. It's old." Shrugging, Kon pulled his Joe Boxer drawstring pants up and tied them. "Bathroom's this way. I'm sure Aunt Martha put your toiletries in there already."

A lumpy couch did not sound appealing in the least. "Probably. And I'll take the bed."

Taking turns in the bathroom and chatting aimlessly through the door, they got ready for bed. It wasn't long before they were both settled under the covers. "G'night, Kon," murmured Tim as he turned off the light on his side. They could talk more in the morning; Tim wanted them to go to sleep on a good note, and talking about important things now would just sour their moods.

"Good night, Tim." Kon understood without it being said that tomorrow they'd begin therapy to mend his near-to-shattered psyche. But for right now, they were just really good friends with nothing between them but good times. Turning onto his side so that he faced Tim's shadowy silhouette, Kon settled more comfortably on the mattress and closed his eyes, content for the first night since his self-inflicted house arrest.

----------

"So basically I bunt her udder with my fist to make the milk come down and then squeeze her teat," stated Tim, summarizing what Kon had just finished telling him. In the past couple days, Tim had helped with every single chore except for milking the cows as every time he came near, they refused to give their normal amount of milk. Now, while still wary, they were used to his presence and had stopped being stubborn, so Jonathan had suggested that Kon show Tim how to milk so he could give it a try. After watching the young meta get whacked in the face and shoulder multiple times with a filthy manure-covered tail, he wasn't so sure he _wanted_ to try.

"Yeah, Uncle Jon says it triggers the release of something called oxytocin, which tells her udder to, and I quote, 'Let down the milk,'" Kon answered and smirked as he motioned for Tim to get started.

Cautiously watching that tail and those back feet, Tim set his stool down next to the cow and sat down. A quick rub on his jeans warmed up his hand and he firmly punched the udder, doing his best to mimic a calf. "Oxytocin is a hormone produced by the pituitary and is what causes contractions during labor."

Amused, Kon leaned against the cow's rump between Tim and her tail, ignoring it as it thumped against his leg. "Thank you, Mr. Encyclopedia," he teased and propped his cheek against his palm, bracing his elbow on the cow's boney hip.

"Yeah, well, I actually listen when Bart starts spouting random stuff." Smirking, Tim wrapped his thumb and forefinger around the top of a teat, then each of his other three fingers one at a time, squeezing just like Kon had shown him. A very thin stream of milk hissed against the bottom of the pail between his feet.

"See? You can do it." Pushing off the cow, Kon patted her thurl and moved over to the next one. "With both of us working, this'll be done in no time. There are only seven milking cows right now."

Settling on his own stool, Kon patted his cow of choice and settled a bucket under her udder. Each cow had already been dipped and dried for sanitation, and the bottle of after dip waited on the fence out of harm's way. It wouldn't take them long at all.

Just as they were finishing up with the last cow, Jonathan strode into the barn. "There you two are. How's it going?"

"Good. We're almost done." Tim noticed that Jonathan was wearing a new-looking pair of jeans and a polo shirt as opposed to his usual worn working clothes. "Are you going somewhere?"

"Yeah. Martha wants to go visit her sister in Granville for a couple days and I'm getting dragged along. Conner, I left all the numbers you'll need in case of an emergency by the phone and some money for you boys to order in pizza for dinner if you want. Make sure you do all the chores and if anything happens to one of the cows, call Dr. Manfredi right away. We'll be back sometime Tuesday night."

Tim glanced at Kon from underneath his lashes, watching him for any signs of apprehension or alarm. From the beginning of his visit, he'd been avoiding anything that would make Kon feel as if he were being forced into a corner because that would only make him more reluctant to accept help in getting over his depression. If the Kents left, that would take away Kon's safety net of having someone to go to if he felt Tim was being too pushy and might ruin some of their progress. The notion of being afraid to be left alone with Kon didn't even cross Tim's mind.

"Sure, Uncle Jon," Kon answered. The last milk cow was a big girl, her back reaching to nearly the middle of Kon's chest where he stood beside her. Uncle Jon had told them Saturday morning that she was a genetic throwback from the days when most cows weighed almost a ton and a half full-grown. The meta leaned on the cow's rump and looked his caretaker in the face. There was no worry or dread whatsoever in his expression or his voice. "Tim and I can handle it. Have fun."

"Martha will. I'm not so sure about me," Jonathan quipped with a smirk, turning his head when he heard his wife calling. "See you in two days, boys. Try not to have too much fun. Coming!" He left the barn at a slow trot.

"'Try not to have too much fun'? What, did Clark used to throw big parties or something?" joked Tim as he resumed milking the cow. His second pail was almost full.

"I guess there was one 'incident,' but no one really wants to talk about it too much," Kon answered with a shrug and patted the cow's rump. "Looks like she's almost milked out."

"Okay." Tim got a few more streams of milk and stood up, pulling the heavy pail away from the cow's feet before she could kick it.

Kon took the pail and snagged the other two that had come from that cow and carried them with ease to the milk house where he poured them into a chilled bulk tank. The milk would be used to feed the hogs and bull-calves. Most of the heifers from that year's crop had already been sold off, but the little bulls hadn't been castrated or weaned yet. The beef cows took care of their own calves. Dusting off his hands, Kon checked the temperature gauge and turned to Tim. "Loft?"

"Sure." Twisting and squirming to try and work the kinks out of his back from sitting on a stool so long, Tim led the way up to the loft and stiffly sat down on the couch. From beneath his bangs, he watched Kon sit next to him. He was glad to see that Kon obviously wasn't worried about being left alone with Tim for an extended period of time.

"So, are you enjoying the fresh air?" Kon asked as he settled on the couch and stretched his legs out before him.

"It took a while to get used to the cow and manure smell," joked Tim, "but now, yeah, I am. What I want to know is how you can stand being out here in the middle of nowhere without someone to hang out with. I'm a Bat and even I'd go stir crazy."

"…I had the Tower. Even school was worth suffering through so long as my weekends were spent there." Kon's fingers drummed on the arm of the couch as though his nerves were a little too much for him to completely contain.

Biting back a frustrated groan, Tim looked skyward for patience. "I hate to sound like a broken record, but what happened _wasn't_ your fault, Kon. You had no way of controlling what they did to you during your creation, and there was nothing you could've done to prevent being used like that. The important thing is that you broke free and are in control of yourself now."

"Tim… I _know_ that it wasn't my fault. It was out of my hands, but it was these hands that broke your arm. That hurt Cassie. These eyes that scorched Raven and Gar. I still feel guilty. It doesn't matter if I recognize that it wasn't my fault. I'm still… ashamed. I still get sick to my stomach and I still have nightmares." Kon stared at his hands another second and then looked to Tim, letting them drop into his lap again. "If I had been stronger – if I hadn't let myself be so _terrified_ trapped in here – I might have gotten control faster. Instead I rolled over like a coward and let Luthor have control. If I was capable of breaking his hold, I should have done it faster."

His expression softening, Tim tangled one set of fingers in the dark hair at the back of Kon's head and leaned closer, pulling Kon towards him to rest their foreheads together, their gazes meeting. "It's okay to be ashamed, Kon. Nobody's perfect, not even Superman, and we all have regrets. We all get scared and freeze from time to time. The important thing is to not let those regrets rule us. Learn from them and move on."

"I'm afraid that I'll flip out again and kill you. Every time I even look at you I feel that fear. It's like ice in the pit of my stomach," he admitted softly and let his eyes drop, lids hiding those fearful blue eyes.

"Fears like that are what help us keep our abilities in check and keep us safe. Raven has her demon half to worry about, but she doesn't let it take over because she has us, and we help her conquer it. Someone could hack Cyborg into doing the same thing you did, but first they'd have to somehow be lucky enough to get through his firewalls. I fight villains that'll take over your mind the first chance they get, so Batman's trained me in ways that'll help me break free of mind control. Cassie is in the favor of gods that could suddenly change their minds and destroy her without warning. You… you have Luthor's programming to worry about. But now that you've felt its affects once, next time you'll be able to defeat it faster."

"What if it's _stronger_ next time? What if I can't deal with it faster or can't deal with it at all? What if I lose it completely, Tim? I don't want to see you guys get hurt again because of me." Those blue eyes met Tim's again, filled with a plea for help that Kon himself probably wouldn't fully verbalize. The hand Kon had lain on the back of the couch tightened. The other was held close to his stomach as though he feared to actually touch Tim with hands.

Tim sat there quietly for a moment, trying to think of something – anything – that could solve Kon's problem, help him conquer his fear. When the plan came to him, he grinned. "So we'll make sure you _can_ beat it next time. If we work hard enough now, I bet we can get you to a point where you can beat that damn programming so fast it doesn't have a chance to control you."

Pulling back, Kon gave Tim a long skeptical look then warily asked, "How?"

"Simple. I hack into your computer back at the Tower, get that sound file of Luthor saying that code phrase, and have you listen to it while I stand ready with just enough Kryptonite to disable you so you can't go flying off to him. As soon as you go rouge, I hit you with the radiation to give you time to beat the programming. Hopefully if we do that often enough, you'll eventually be able to beat the programming in a couple seconds, meaning it won't have any power over you anymore."

"Are you crazy? Or have you just gone insane?" Kon stood, stared at him for a second, and turned to walk over to the open loft door. Staring out at the lightly clouded sky, Kon folded his arms over his chest in an almost defensive manner. "I could kill you and run off to Luthor. I can't take that risk. I _can't_, Tim."

"It's either this or the risk of Luthor surprising you again at a time when none of us are around to stop you before you do some massive damage, Kon. What if he catches you here… and has you kill the Kents?" Tim added in a low voice.

The metahuman's back couldn't have stiffened any more if he were going through rigor mortis. His fingers tightened on his biceps and his eyes closed as though in agony at the all too possible scenario. He could almost see himself destroying this place and all of its peace and love. "Fine. Let's do it."

Nodding, Tim got up and put a supportive hand on Kon's elbow. He hated having to manipulate his best friend – because that _was_ what he'd done – but he wanted Kon's nightmares to stop just as much as the half-Kryptonian did, and the first step to that was mastering the fear. "We don't know how long it'll take, and it's already afternoon. I think we should plan it today and start tomorrow after chores. How about you?"

"Is this going to be one of those things that once you start you can't stop until you've completely finished?" Kon didn't sound pleased with the idea, but was entirely willing by the looks of things. It was at least obvious that he understood the consequences of _not_ at least trying.

"Probably. I'd say we should look at it that way since we don't know what'll happen once we start."

Silence filled the loft for a long time before Kon nodded once and finally looked at Tim. "Alright. The cows can go one night without milking if they have to."

Blue eyes met blue and Tim's expression grew serious. "We're going to need a lot of space, preferably a long way from the beef cows, a large chunk of Green K, and a lead barrier."

"The Green K and the lead won't be a problem. The only place I can think of that would be… suitable would be the fallow field in the back or… Souder's Gorge." Kon's expression was equally serious, but also a little apprehensive. He could feel the fear building in the bottom of his stomach again, and no matter how hard he was trying to keep it at bay he simply couldn't.

"How far away is Souder's Gorge and how close is it to town?" The less chance there was of getting other people involved in their attempt, the better.

"It's southwest of here. We can fly out after we eat something and take a look if you want to check it out."

"Sounds like a plan." Nodding in approval, Tim let his hand drop and turned towards the stairs. "Let's go. All that milking made me hungry."

Kon lingered at the loft door for a few minutes before turning and slowly following Tim down the stairs. He wasn't sure it was the best course of action, but no one else seemed even interested in helping him with this. At least with Tim… he stood a chance of keeping that horrible day from repeating itself.

----------

On either side of them stood high, sheer walls of shale and sandstone. Pebbles of all sizes crunched under their feet. The mid-morning sun didn't yet reach the bottom of the gorge, leaving Tim and Kon to stand in the cool shade. To Tim's right was a large, flat-topped boulder, on which sat his laptop. To his left was another boulder, on which sat a lead box holding a sizeable Green Kryptonite rock with his hand resting on top, waiting to open the box and expose the poison inside.

Taking a shaky breath to steady himself, Tim's fingers hovered over the keys of his computer, waiting to play that dreaded sound file. "It's not too late to back out," he reminded Kon, offering him one last chance to voice any second thoughts and claim he was absolutely out of his mind for suggesting this.

The half-Kryptonian shook his head and nervously licked at his lips. Wiping his hands on his jeans, Kon glanced from the laptop to Tim's face and then back. "Let's just… just do it and get it over with. And Tim? I'm sorry… In case anything happens."

"I know, Kon. No matter what happens, we'll still be friends and teammates. … Ready?"

He took one last, deep breath and nodded.

"Okay. Here we go." Almost amazed that his hands had stopped shaking, Tim pressed a button on his laptop, playing the recording of Luthor speaking that dreaded Latin phrase.

"_Aut vincere aut mori_."

Kon could feel it this time. It was like a small shock tingling along his neurological pathways, reaching to the far corners of his mind and activating his heat vision without his consent. He was kind of ready for it this time and Kon immediately fought back, trying to wrest control of his body from that horrible part of him that _wasn't_ him.

"Aaag!" The scream of frustrated agony was wordless as he clasped his head and hit his knees. At the same time he registered the sickly glow of the green rock and felt his body rebel, rejecting the radiation from that somewhat small green stone like it rejected anything hazardous… with a vengeance. His stomach roiled and his mind screamed and it was like drowning. And then something snapped and he felt the heat leave his eyes almost simultaneous to the purging of the contents of his stomach. Bracing his hands on the ground, he retched a second time before he could hoarsely whisper, "Tim…"

With the disappearance of energy from Kon's eyes, Tim knew him to be himself again and he quickly closed the box, cutting off the poisonous radiation. Prepared for the meta's nausea, he pulled out a water bottle from his pack and knelt down in front of Kon, handing it to him so he could wash out his mouth.

"A half hour," he murmured, voice hoarse to match his pale face. It had been torture to watch Kon scream in pain and fury, fighting for his mind while resisting the effects of the Kryptonite and knowing there was nothing he could do to stop the fight without compromising both their safety.

Kon rinsed his mouth and drank a little of the water before falling onto his side well away from the mess he'd made on the ground. His chest heaved as he caught his breath, but it was only a moment before he sat up again and slowly got to his feet. "I can do a lot of damage in half an hour… Again."

Tim grimly nodded and went back to his spot between the boulders to start the process all over again.

It went on like that for hours. All throughout the morning, it took Kon approximately a half hour to overcome the programming, creating caves and craters in the gorge as he flailed, the only thing keeping him on the ground being the Kryptonite. Progress came at last in the early afternoon.

"Twenty minutes," reported Tim, kneeling with the water bottle in hand. There was nothing left in Kon's stomach now, not even bile, but even dry retching left a horrible taste in the mouth.

"Thank god," Kon whispered and drank a little of the water before handing it back. Now his panting was heavy as if he'd been fighting Superman himself for that last few hours in an all out brawl. His clothing was in tatters and his hair a knotted, dirtied mess. The Kryptonite was weakening him enough that his skin held a number of scratches and bruises, but not enough to take away the majority of his powers. Occasionally, his heat vision had gone off and he'd feared for Tim's life, but so far he'd missed Tim by miles every time. Thankful for small miracles, Kon shakily, almost painfully, heaved himself to his feet. "Again."

Within the next many hours, Kon worked those twenty minutes down to fifteen, then to ten, and finally to five just as the sun disappeared under the horizon. Both boys were exhausted, filthy, heavily littered with bruises, and painfully hungry, but they couldn't afford to stop now, not even for a break. "Again," Kon would demand, and Tim complied every time.

Midnight came, and Tim's report as he knelt to wipe some of the blood and sweat from Kon's face was, "Two minutes."

Kon laid there, eyes closed and body shaking. It hurt. Oh, how it hurt, but he wasn't finished. Two minutes was plenty of time for his rogue-self to kill someone. He wanted to just stay down. To just lay there and not move again for… forever. Instead, he pushed himself up onto his elbow and then his hands and knees. Everything that made him complained, but he made it to his feet painstakingly slow. "Again."

Dawn rose cool and clear just as Kon at last managed to reduce the time it took him to beat the programming down to a handful of seconds. There wasn't even enough time for the energy of heat vision to pool in his eyes or for Tim to throw open the box before he in control again.

Triumphant and utterly drained, Tim let his legs fall out from beneath him and he leaned back against a boulder, laughing softly from almost hysterical relief. They'd done it.

Unable to rise again, Kon just lay where he'd fallen a few hours ago and closed his eyes, breathing too heavily and far too drained for laughter.

Tim slowly crawled over to where Kon lay and collapsed next to him, taking his hand. "You did it," he whispered in a tired croak.

Bloodied, singed lids fluttered, but didn't open. The only reaction Tim got beyond that was a tired shift of Kon's hand in his and a very small squeeze.

The sun was directly above them the next time Tim opened his eyes, never having realized he'd fallen asleep. Still drained but now able to move and powerfully hungry, he sat up and twisted to ease some of the soreness in his muscles from sleeping on rocks and gravel.

Kon was already up, moving about the small site and gathering the emptied water bottles and other signs of their stay. Turning at the sound of Tim's movements, he looked at the laptop and slowly shut it. "The cows need to be milked."

"They can wait until we've gotten some breakfast." Wincing, Tim rose to his feet and slowly made his way over to Kon. "How're you feeling?"

"Like shit. But… better." Kon lifted his hand between them. His eyes staring straight into the Teen Wonder's – and he'd truly earned _that_ name as far as Kon was concerned – Kon said in his most sincere voice, "Thank you, Tim."

Clasping Kon's hand in a firm, heartfelt grip, Tim met his gaze and vowed, "Titans together, Kon. Always."

There was a moment's pause before Kon tugged, jerking Tim to him and releasing his hand almost simultaneously. The action ended in a tight hug and Kon's chin on Tim's shoulder. "How are you?" he softly asked of the seemingly frail boy in his arms.

"Tired, hurting, and hungry. Nothing a big breakfast, a hot bath, and a _long_ sleep – preferably in that order – won't cure." Easily returning the embrace with equal tightness, Tim rested his forehead on Kon's broad shoulder. "Are we walking back to the farm or do you think you can manage a short flight? And don't say yes if you don't mean it."

"Get your stuff, Tim. I can fly us back," Kon ordered and gradually let Tim go, reluctant to release the source of so much comfort.

**On to Chapter Three…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Reassurances**

A Prequel to "The Eye of Anubis"

By Nightmare and Winged Dreamer

**Chapter Three**

The house was quiet but for the tic-tock of the various clocks and the hiss, whir or hum of the usual household appliances. There was virtually no wind outside today, so the old farm house wasn't creaking or groaning, preferring to bask silently in the warm sunlight of early afternoon. Outside, if Kon listened, he could hear Tim finishing up the chores. Kon had milked the cows while Tim ate brunch and found the pain killers, and so now the Teen Wonder was busily feeding the animals while Kon took care of similar matters. However, Kon had finished eating and bathing a few minutes ago. He didn't need pain killers since his body's healing factor had kicked back up again and now there he was, sitting on the couch with the cordless phone in his hand. Could he do it? Could he really handle hearing their voices? Or would he see what he'd done to them and quake in terror of what might have been?

He'd never know if he didn't try.

The number to Titans Tower was one he knew well and his thumb punched it in on auto-pilot as he lifted the handset to his ear. It rang twice before it was answered.

"Hello?"

For a second, the world dropped out from underneath him and all he could hear were the words he'd heard that day when the Titans had all first laid eyes on Superboy gone rogue. It was Gar's voice, asking what was wrong with his eyes and calling to Raven who lay unresponsive at Kon's feet, but the sound had come to his mind as if from far away and through cotton. The memory of it was even less vivid… now.

Kon cleared his throat. "Uh, hey… Gar. How ya been?"

Gar audibly perked up, his polite tone dissolving into one of excitement. "Conner! Hey! I've been pretty good. How 'bout you? It's dull around here without you, man."

"I've been alright I guess. I've been better," he answered and sighed. "How's everyone else doing?"

"Decent. Like I said, it's pretty dull around here without you. Plus it's been really quiet over here. All the big baddies were scared underground by Kory going supernova and have yet to stick their noses out, so we've been helping the police with their work more than anything else. How're things on the farm?"

"Same old, same old here. Nothing really exciting ever happens in Smallville. At least, not anymore." Kon shifted a little nervously on the couch and sighed. What should he say? He'd apologized so many times to them already that he was certain they were sick of hearing it. "So… who's all there right now?"

"Everyone except Tim. He asked Vic for some time off and disappeared. To where, we're not sure. Oh, and the girls are out right now shopping, but they should be back soon."

"Oh. Well, I guess I'd like to say hi to Bart then. And Vic, if they don't mind."

"Yeah, sure, just a sec. BART! PHONE! IT'S CONNER!"

"Conner?!" Bart exclaimed into the phone over Gar's surprised, "Whoa!"

"Hey, Bart. How ya been, Imp?"

"Bored!! When are you coming back?! I haven't seen you in forever!! Imissyou!! Pleasetellmeyou'recomingback soonbecauseit'sjustnotthesamearoundherewithoutyouand-"

"Bart!" Kon laughed a little as he yelled the hyper Speedster's name. "Please slow down. I lost you after 'I miss you.'"

The Speedster took a deep breath and tried again. "Please tell me you're coming back soon 'cause it's just not the same without you around here, Conner!"

"I… Look, Bart. I can't make those kinds of promises. I just… I'm not ready yet, okay?"

"Okay… Can I come out there and visit you, then? Please, please, please?! I promise to be helpful and not scare the animals!"

The quiet squeak of the screen door opening announced Tim's return from feeding the animals. As proof of his efforts, the back of his hair had been sculpted into a rather spectacular cow lick, chop, cow saliva, snot and all. He was trying to flatten it in vain, his face twisted in disgust at the texture. "Hey, Kon, who're you talking to?"

"I don't know, Bart. I just… I miss you guys." Rising from the couch, Kon moved into view of Tim who was taking his boots off at the door. "Bart," he told the shorter boy and smirked. "Nice hair. Let me guess, Kuda thought you looked like you needed a bath?" Kon knew that little black cow well. She licked him every chance she got, too. He had learned over time how to avoid it being his hair. "That means you've been accepted, by the way," he added and patted Tim's shoulder once the Teen Wonder had gotten his boots off and straightened.

"Who is that?! Is that Tim?!"

Tim glowered at him, a dry smirk threatening to turn up one corner of his mouth. "Either that or she was thanking me for managing to throw the food right in front of her nose. And if this is what it means to be accepted by cows, then I rather they stay indifferent. Tell Bart I say hi. I'm gonna take a shower and try to get all this goop out of my hair."

"It is Tim! How long has he been there?! Hi, Tim! How come he gets to visit and I don't?!"

"I didn't say you couldn't visit, Bart," Kon told him with a small smirk. "Just gimme a little more time, alright? I'm still sorting myself out. And Tim's only been here for a few days. He took the bus here and Kansas Hospitality forbids we turn him out on the street."

Truthfully, it was obvious by the tone of Kon's voice that he was very glad that Tim had come out. Ruffling Robin's already messy hair, Kon let his smirk widen a little in amusement as the action further smeared the cow lick, then waved Tim up the stairs.

"So basically if I surprise-visit you it's okay?" Bart asked from right beside Kon, a small bag hooked over his shoulder. "Hey Tim, niiiiiice hair."

"Shut up." Grumbling, Tim disappeared into the upstairs.

Kon started and whirled to face Bart. "I hate it when you do that. What'd you do with the phone?"

"Hung it up. What happened to you? You're really pale… You okay, Conner?" His brow furrowed in concern.

Superboy walked to the island counter that separated the kitchen from the dining room to hang up the phone. Once the phone was in its cradle and charging, he slowly turned and leaned back against it, folding his arms over his chest. "I'm fine, Bart. Tim and I were trying something out and I got a little over-exposed to Kryptonite, but I should be okay by tomorrow."

"What were you two doing that involved Kryptonite?" Tossing his bag onto the couch, Bart hopped up onto the counter beside Kon. "Sounds pretty stupid to me."

"Making sure that Luthor can't ever use me against you guys again." Kon's tone was flat and he stared into space rather than look at Bart.

"Oh…" the Speedster murmured. "And just how did you do that?"

"Tim managed to hack out a recording of Luthor saying whatever it was he said to make me go psycho, and we used that to set me off and the Kryptonite to keep me grounded while I fought the programming over and over again. I think it was half shorted out to begin with, but let's just say that even if it wasn't it doesn't have much of an effect on me now." Kon shrugged a little and looked down at the floor and his stockinged feet.

Bart didn't hear anything past the first sentence, his gold eyes huge with terror and anger.

"You did WHAT?!" he exclaimed, hopping down from the counter to stare Kon in the face from his shorter height. "And Tim _went_ with it?! Are you two _brain-dead_?! What if the Kryptonite hadn't been enough and you'd gone completely rouge?! _Jesus_, Conner, we would've lost the both of you!" His voice cracked on the last word and he ducked his head. "…We would've lost _both_ of you…"

"Bart, relax. It was _Tim's_ idea and _I_ went with it because I can't stand the thought of that happening again. I could have _killed_ you guys and been in service of Luthor until he thought I wasn't useful any more or something. We went to Souder's Gorge. We totally had everything under control. There's no way a chunk of Kryptonite as big as the one we used wouldn't be enough to keep me down." Reaching out, Kon laid a hand on Bart's shoulder and gave a squeeze.

The young Speedster tensed under his touch but made no move to pull away. "You don't know that. The programming could've been strong enough to help you resist getting sick just long enough to get away. You shoulda called us for backup to make _sure_ nothing could happen."

"Why? So I could trash you guys again? That's insane! At least with Tim it was only the two of us. Two lives lost in our line of work – as much as it sucks to say it – isn't a big thing, but if I'd killed all of you…" Kon dropped his hand and walked to the kitchen door to look out into the yard. It was obvious that he wasn't talking about having the other Titans there for "training" anymore. "If I'd killed all of you…" He couldn't even finish that sentence. It was unfathomable to think that he could do something so horrible. Fists clenched at his sides, he thought back over the "training" he and Tim had completed only hours ago, then back to that day and felt a small shudder run through his body. Never again. _Never_ again would he turn on friends. He'd gladly die first.

Lithe arms wrapped tightly around his middle, and Bart burrowed his face into Kon's back. Hot tears soaked into the back of Kon's shirt. "Just don't do it again, okay?" he quietly begged, sounding just as young as he truly was.

"Yeah," Kon sighed and gently patted the Speedster's arms. It was comforting to be surrounded by people who knew him; people who cared about him and thought of him as family. Sure the Kents might think of him that way, but he'd only known them for a few years. Robin and Kid Flash had been with him since practically the very beginning of his life. They were his _real_ family.

"Good, because if you do something that dumb again, I'll beat you up." There was a watery smile in Bart's voice and he hugged tighter.

"Heh, sure, Bart." With a soft chuckle, Kon looked over his shoulder. "As if you could."

"I'd get points for effort. And I _am_ faster than you." Sniffing, Bart gave Kon one last squeeze before letting go. "I mean it. Don't do that again, okay? I've already lost you too many times."

"I won't have to do that again, Bart. That's the point." Turning, Kon ruffled Bart's silky hair and smirked at him. A sound at the top of the stairs turned his attention to the stairwell and he watched as Tim came down. "Hey. Feel better?"

Peeking out from underneath the towel he was using to dry hair, Tim nodded. "_Much_. Next time that cow comes after my hair, I'm smacking her."

"Ah, poor bird got his feathers ruffled," teased Bart with a huge grin, shoving his anger aside to deal with later when he was alone with Tim. There was something about Kon that just begged to forget about their problems and try to enjoy themselves.

"Just because I can't catch you doesn't mean I can't make you suffer, Imp," Tim teased right back, smirking. Looking to Kon, he raised a brow and asked, "Please tell me he's leaving soon."

"Hey!"

"He's not hurting anything." Kon shrugged a little carelessly. Yeah, Tim had been joking around, but Kon felt he should make sure that Bart knew he was welcome to stay.

"Yet."

Bart loudly razzed Tim in retaliation.

The Teen Wonder smirked and dropped the towel onto his shoulders. With it dropped his smirk. "Kon, how often do people go to Souder's Gorge?" He'd heard the tail end of Kon and Bart's conversation, and knew there was no point in being subtle around the youngest member of their trio.

"It's a typical make-out spot for jocks and cheerleaders, sometimes they hold raves out there. It depends on the season. Why?" Kon's expression showed very clearly his curiosity in the question.

"We need to go back and erase any evidence that we were there." There was nothing they could do about the craters Kon had left behind in his thrashing, but they had left behind blood, sweat, hair, bits of clothing, fingerprints, and footprints at the very least. For their own safety, all of that needed to be destroyed, especially before police or villains got a hold of any of it.

"Right." Turning to the mat beside the door, Kon grabbed his boots. "I'll take care of it. Why don't you guys watch a movie or something?"

"Alright." Trusting Kon to adequately take care of it – and knowing Kon needed every show of trust Tim could offer – Tim went over to the living room to examine the Kents' movie collection.

"Sure you don't want any help?" offered Bart.

"Not unless you've got heat vision," Kon stated and pushed the screen door open. "I'll be back in a few minutes." With that he was gone. He might not have been a Speedster, but he certainly had superspeed.

When Kon returned, the atmosphere between Tim and Bart had changed significantly. It didn't take a Bat to note that Bart and Tim had been fighting over something though it might have taken one to figure out just what it was that had sent the relatively good mood plunging into depths of frustration and anger. "What's up?" he casually inquired as he took a seat on the couch between his two best friends. "I leave for fifteen minutes and come back to this. I heard you two fighting on my way down."

"Did you thoroughly burn the area we'd been using yesterday?" asked Tim coolly, ignoring Bart's dark stare as he reached for the remote to start the movie he'd put into the VCR.

"Yeah, it's totally charcoal. What were you two arguing about?" Kon wasn't letting this one go.

Bart's stare got even darker. "The intelligence of certain birds."

Kon turned a level eye on Bart and frowned. "Knock it off. What's done is done, so there's nothing to bitch about. We're both fine and everything went according to plan."

"Whatever." His arms stubbornly crossed, Bart slouched down on the couch as the opening credits rolled. It was easy for Bart to forgive Kon. He understood the need to overcome a personal demon. However, forgiving Tim was a whole other issue. Tim was the one who'd come up with the idea to force Kon into going rouge and use Kryptonite to keep him down; Tim was the one who should have thought to get back up; Tim was the one who'd put everyone in danger because he hadn't thought out his plan completely.

Tim continued to ignore Bart, hurting after having all the flaws in his plan thrown into his face. All of Bart's points had been valid and, actually, Tim agreed with each one, but Bart hadn't had to make it sound as if he'd acted without Kon's safety in mind.

"Look, you guys. Is something that worked out in the end worth being mad at each other about? Any one of us could die tomorrow." Looking from one to the other, Kon tried not to let his temper get the better of him. This was ridiculous. Fighting about something that was in the past, couldn't be changed, and had turned out alright in the end didn't make any sense.

Both boys had the grace to look ashamed at the sincerity in Kon's voice. Real fights between any of the three of them were rare for exactly the reason Kon had just mentioned. They were too important to each other to let fights tear rifts between them when at any moment something could happen to kill one of them.

"M'sorry," murmured Bart, his gaze downcast.

"Me too." Tim glanced in Bart's direction just as Bart did the same, and they shared a weak but honest smile.

"_That's_ better," Kon stated and threw an arm around each of them, pulling them close as the movie seriously got started. "And after this is over, we'll all go into town for a pizza. My treat."

Really smiling now, Bart leaned against Kon's side. "With everything on it?"

"Except pineapple." Tim scooted closer to Kon so he wouldn't have to lean and slipped into a comfortable slouch.

"Except pineapple," conceded Bart.

----------

It was well after dark when the boys finally started back to the Kent Farm. Once out on the back roads, Kon began to relax a little more and start enjoying things again. Being in town had very obviously made him nervous, especially around the people who had known Clark like Lana Ross and her husband Pete. It stood to reason that he was afraid of somehow blowing his cover and in the process expose Clark. But now, out in the middle of nothing but cornfields under the starry Kansas night sky, he was a lot more at ease.

"It's a nice night out," Kon commented, looking up at the moon and her entourage of stars.

"Yeah, it is. I can actually see all the constellations." Pointing up, Bart started tracing shapes in the stars. "There's Leo, Cassiopea, Cancer, Aquila, Ursa Major, Ursa Minor… "

Amused, Tim nudged Kon's side with his elbow and rolled his eyes as Bart continued to spout out names.

Kon smirked and thwacked Bart's elbow. "Hey, how about you stop spewing information for a change and just go with the flow like us? Like back when we were kids and talked about stupid stuff just because we could and told ghost stories over campfires. Love the brains, Bart, but you don't need to wear them on your sleeve when you're with us. We _know_ you're smart."

The Speedster playfully razzed him and stuck his nose up in the air, trying to look down his nose at his taller best friends and failing beautifully. "M'not wearing my brains on my sleeve. I'm educating you two simpletons about astronomy."

Tim pretended to be offended. "Hey, I am not a simpleton. Kon on the other hand…"

Grinning, Bart went along with the joke. "Yeah, Conner got so many smart genes he ended up dumb."

"Hey!" Both felt a swat to the back of the head even though Kon never took his hands out of his back pockets. "I resemble that remark." He could take a joke when he was certain that's what it was. He might not have been as smart as the two beside him, but he wasn't entirely stupid. "At least my name isn't Bizarro. Then where would you guys be?"

"Running as fast as I could to get away before I caught the stupid."

The Teen Wonder barked an honest laugh. He'd forgotten just how wonderful it was to simply hang out with his two best friends like they had back when they were Young Justice. "I think you already caught it, Bart. You may beat us in book smarts, but you've got a long way to go when it comes to street smarts."

Bart pouted and whined, "Connnnnnnnneeer! Tim's picking on me!"

"I don't know. I think he's pretty much got it right, Bart," Kon agreed. "You might now the facts, but sometimes your application is lacking."

Harrumphing, Bart's pout deepened and he crossed his arms. "Bastards. I have bastards for best friends. They won't stop picking on me," he grumbled.

Tim reached around Kon to shove Bart's temple with his fist, smirking. "Bart, the day we stop picking on you is the day the world stops spinning."

----------

The next morning, a ray of sun hitting him right in the eyes called Tim back to the waking world. Grunting in protest, he stretched and rolled over at the sound of a dresser drawer being pulled open. Kon was already awake and moving, half-dressed in jeans and socks. Confused since Kon was never up with the sun, at least not on his own, Tim sat up, now wide awake. "Kon?"

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?" Superboy asked and settled on the edge of the mattress to pull on his shirt. He sounded tired and looked completely drained. It was obvious that he hadn't slept a wink, and he didn't bother to try and hide it.

Tim shook his head and climbed out of bed to get dressed himself. "Couldn't sleep, huh?" Being half-Kryptonian meant Kon normally had a very high healing factor (that is, if he got hurt in the first place), and he should've completely recovered from their training in the gorge after a full night's sleep. Without that much needed sleep, Kon looked like death warmed over.

"I couldn't stop thinking. Seeing Bart yesterday… it made me think about the other Titans, and I think that I need to talk to Cassie. It…" Kon paused and leaned back against the headboard. "It isn't going to work out between us. It _hasn't_ been working out between us. So, I'm going to call her after chores and meet her in Salt Lake City."

"Are you sure you really want to do this and it's not just because of what happened?" Doing up his jeans, Tim sat down next to Kon, offering emotional support through proximity.

"I need to do this. Cassie and I are more off than on, and if that future we saw told me anything it was that we can't end up together like that. I don't want to take that chance." Kon sighed and looked over at Tim.

"If you're sure it's the right thing, Kon, then I'm behind you all the way. But right now I think the most important thing you need to do is sleep, because you look about ready to keel over. How about I go make us breakfast and do the chores while you rest?"

"No, I'll be fine. Let's get the chores done and then we'll eat. I'll catch a nap before I see Cassie tonight. If I can." Kon rose with a quiet grunt and headed for the door.

Sighing, Tim pulled on the rest of his clothes and followed Kon out the door, intent on making sure that he took the brunt of the chores.

After the animals were taken care of and both of the boys were well fed, Kon snagged the phone from the receiver on the island counter and excused himself to the porch. Cassie's cell phone number was one that had taken no time at all for him to memorize, but once dialed he felt his stomach grow a little cold with something akin to dread.

He only had to wait a couple rings before Cassie picked up. "Conner?" Relief and hope made her voice tremble. "Conner, is that you?"

"Hey, Cassie. How have you been?" The hope in her voice made his chest tighten. She wouldn't take this well even though he knew it was the right thing to do. They both needed to move on.

"I've been okay, I guess. How about you? I-I miss you, Conner…"

"I'm surviving. Look, Cassie… Are you free tonight? I need to talk to you." Kon refused to break their relationship off completely over the phone. Cassie at least deserved better than that and so he'd be doing it in person even if the thought scared him. He didn't want to lose her friendship, but he had a feeling that she might not entirely understand why it made him almost sick to his stomach to think about holding her in the same arms that had hurt her and tried to kill her.

"Yeah, I'm free tonight. … What do you need to talk about?" The hope in her voice became overshadowed with tentative dread. She hadn't liked the way Kon had said _those_ words, the words no one ever wanted to hear from their significant other.

Pulling the phone away from his ear for a moment, thankful that Cassie didn't have super hearing, he took a deep breath and prepared himself for something he never thought he'd ever even consider doing. "We need to talk about us, but I don't want to do this over the phone, so… I'll see you tonight, okay? Nine o'clock, Salt Lake City, Utah? There's a small cafe on the corner of Wilson Street and Oak. We can meet there and then go some place more private to talk."

"Sure, I… Conner, are you… are you sure about this?" Cassie sounded close to tears. She knew what was coming.

"Yeah, Cass. You and I… have both known this has been coming." He couldn't lie to her.

Cassie let out a shaky sigh, clearly trying to collect herself, and whispered, "Okay… I'll see you tonight, Conner. Salt Lake City."

"Yeah. Take it easy, Cassie," he murmured as soothingly as he could. "I'll see you tonight."

Tim walked out onto the porch just as Kon hung up the phone. "How'd she take it?" he gently asked, leaning on the railing.

"I'll eat Bart's cooking if she isn't crying right now," Kon answered and leaned against the railing next to him, feeling even more run down and dejected than he had already. "I wasn't going to lead her into believing this is going to be something more than it is."

"Then you did the right thing." Tim put a soothing hand on Kon's back. "What time are you meeting her tonight?"

"Nine," Kon said on a sigh and looked at the phone still in his hands. "In Salt Lake City, so I'll need to leave here a little early. I need to be there before her."

"Yeah." Patting Kon's back, Tim straightened. "Why don't you go get some sleep so you have the energy to deal with tonight? I can look after everything on my own."

"I can try. Are you sure it's okay?"

"I'm sure. Go get some sleep, Kon. You need it."

"Thanks, Tim." Straightening, the half-Kryptonian headed inside and put the phone back in its cradle before trudging up the stairs. First he changed into his pajamas, then sprawled into bed to try to nap until he had to leave. Hopefully, Ma and Pa would get back in time for him to tell them what he was doing, so Tim wouldn't have to worry about doing the chores alone.

When Tim went upstairs to wake him up at seven for dinner, one look at Kon told him that the meta had gotten absolutely no sleep in all the hours he'd lain there staring at the ceiling. If Tim hadn't known that Kon couldn't get sick, he would've sworn Kon had caught a very bad case of the flu. "Maybe I should call Cassie and tell her you can't make it tonight. You're not in any shape to fly to Utah and back."

"I'll be fine, Tim," Kon stated and swung his legs off the mattress so he could sit up. He felt like crap. "Being half-human sucks in more ways than I could ever count. Clark probably doesn't have to deal with this." Groaning, Kon got to his feet and stretched, muscles popping. "I'm going to head out right after dinner. Are Ma and Pa back yet?"

"No, they're not. Mrs. Kent called a couple hours ago to say that they're going to stay at least an extra day." Tim gave Kon a worried, critical once-over and sighed. "I really think you should stay here and try to sleep."

"I can't put this off any longer than I already have, Tim. Just… be here when I get back? And please don't do the chores without me. The cows don't know you _that_ well yet," Kon practically begged as they left what had become their room and headed downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Of course I'll be here, Kon. And I'll wait for you to milk the cows," promised Tim, following him down to the already set out simple meal of ham sandwiches and chips. "Any idea when you'll be back?"

"It depends on her, doesn't it? I won't just leave her there if she starts crying or something." Settling at the table, Kon dug into the meal more because his stomach was complaining than because he actually felt hungry.

"Mm." A heavy, awkward silence filled the kitchen, neither boy really knowing what to say or do. Tim found himself to have no appetite, eating solely because he knew he needed to. His eyes seemingly downcast, he watched Kon through his lashes, monitoring him for anything that could be a reason to make him stay.

"Good luck," he murmured when Kon stood, having been unable to think of anything.

The meta nodded and murmured his thanks before heading up the stairs to wash and change. Once dressed, he said goodbye to Tim and left for a meeting he wasn't looking forward to at all. The flight to Salt Lake City seemed to take a lot longer than it should have, but he chalked it up to negative anticipation and lack of sleep, landing in the café's alley at exactly eight-thirty. Gathering himself, he casually walked out of the alley and headed over to the front of the café where he took a seat on a bench and waited.

He heard Cassie approach from behind him before he heard her murmur, "Hi, Conner."

"Hey, Cassie," Kon answered as he got to his feet and turned to face her. She was every bit as beautiful as he remembered, but the sight of her triggered memories he didn't want to revisit at that moment, and pushing them aside only left behind the uncomfortable and painful feelings that went with them.

"Uhm, a roof?" he suggested, trying not to fidget as much as his nerves were telling him to.

Nodding, Cassie led him to the alley beside the café and flew up to the flat roof, staying in the shadows so no one could see them. She approached Kon as he landed, reaching out to brush his cheek. In the darkness she could no longer see the sallowness in his face, but she hadn't missed it down on the street. "Conner, are you alright? You look… sick."

By reflex he caught her hand, but refrained from jerking it away from his cheek. Instead, he slowly pulled it away and lowered their clasped hands between them. "I just… haven't been sleeping well. There was some Kryptonite in there, too, but it wasn't anything to worry about. Things have just been tough."

Cassie's face fell a little at his resistance to her touch, but she decided to set it aside, along with the mention of Kryptonite, which only added to her concern at his condition, since she could tell he didn't want to talk about it. "They've been tough for all of us. We're all still getting over what happened."

He nodded and released her hand, steeling himself for the conversation to come. "I know. That's kind of what I wanted to talk about. I don't expect you to understand this completely, Cassie, but I've thought about a lot of things since I went back to the farm. One of the main things I've been trying to sort out… is us. We've been so up and down and off and on, and then we saw that horrible future. And after what happened, I just don't think…" He paused and looked away, lifting a hand to the back of his neck. "I just don't think we were meant to work out, Cassie."

"That specific future doesn't have to happen. We all decided when we got back here that we'd do everything we can to prevent it. But that doesn't mean we still can't have a future together, Conner." Cassie tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and ducked her head for a moment, then lifted her gaze to meet his. "I've been doing a lot of thinking too, and what happened made me realize just how important you are to me. I want to give us another chance, Conner. At least one more chance to see if we can make this work. Please."

"Cassie, I-I can't. I just… I'm not ready and I don't know if I'll ever be ready, not after– after _that_. I'm sorry, but I think you should move on." It was hard to tell her that. It was hard to look at her and see her heart breaking in her eyes, but he couldn't ask her to wait for him. She would and he knew it and that would just be way too cruel. She needed to find someone who _was_ ready, someone who could hold her and make her happy right now.

"I don't blame you for what happened, Conner," Cassie insisted almost desperately, thinking that was what was creating the wall between them now. "I know it wasn't your fault and I forgive you. Please, all I want is one more chance. If it doesn't work after that, it doesn't work, but I want to try."

"Cassie, we _have_ tried! Over and over again, and every time it _doesn't_ work! I can't do this anymore. Not right now. Please… just… let it go and move on." He hadn't meant to snap and he regretted it immediately. "God, Cassie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

On the verge of tears, Cassie ducked her head to hide the pain she knew showed in her eyes. "I know you didn't. It's alright, Conner. I-I understand. I'd just hoped…" Choking on her words, she put a hand up to her mouth to steady herself. "I guess this is it…" she whispered.

"Yeah," Kon almost whispered. He wanted to comfort her, but his body refused to get too close to her. This was hard enough. He didn't need to make it worse.

"I… I guess I'll see you at the Tower. Good bye, Conner."

"Bye, Cassie," Kon murmured and watched as she lifted off the roof and flew away. He could hear her crying, but knew there was nothing he could do for her. She'd have to find someone else to comfort her when she really needed it now. Completely drained, Kon too took to the air, heading back to Smallville. He'd be lucky if he made it there conscious and in one piece.

**On to Chapter Four…**


End file.
